californstar:

My anaconda don’t wanna go to class tomorrow

(via babywolfdragicorn)

intosnarkness:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember that one time i had to fly with my cello so we bought it a seat

and it got upgraded to first class

without me

(via thealieninvasion)

Anonymous: how often do you have sex?

pussysista:

How often is your dad “working late”?